Over the past year or so, I have witnessed more and more marriages go on the outs. Of course there’s the celebrity marriages we all know about, but frankly, while I don’t wish divorce and/or hard times on anyone, I don’t much care about them. I’m referring to the hard times my friends are having in their marriages.
Let me clearly state that Ryanne and I haven’t exactly had the Leave it to Beaver marriage either, we went through our rough spots, one in particular where things got *very* rough, and I’m sure we’ll continue to have them. Also, we’re no experts. But if we have learned anything, it’s that love is a verb. It’s an action that needs to be carried out. If we profess to be Gospel-believing Christians, then I don’t believe we have any cause for divorce short of abuse. We both believe that just about anything short of that can be worked through. Why? Because we made a commitment before God and each other on June 4th, 2004 that we were in this for the long haul.
Simply put, Ryanne and I after almost six years, some great times and some not so great times, have arrived on this very simple point, that marriage is the least selfish thing someone can ever do. We must always be thinking of each other before ourselves. The moment you start letting “I deserve this” or “I’m entitled to that” enter in your head, the garbage begins. A cycle of one person not respecting the other starts, and will continue until someone has the balls to stand up and realize that the only thing they have any control over is themselves (best advice I’ve ever been given). If you want a cycle of crap to end… grow a pair and end it. We know this, because we’ve lived through it.
I grew up in a household where the phrase “well that’s just how I am” or “that’s just who they are, get used to it” was not acceptable. While sometimes harsh, I am thankful for that attitude because it’s made me realize that anyone can change at anytime. I unequivocally reject the notion that people cannot/do not change. If you want to fix something, including yourself, just effin’ do it. If for whatever reason you don’t know how to be a better person, surround yourself with better people and “act as if.” Act as if has gotten me through a number of messy situations in my life… because if I’m acting like how I WANT to become, eventually I WILL become that way.
Marriage is too important, and I’m slowly realizing how much MORE important now that I’ve got a kid on the way, to let selfishness get in the way.
Last week in Los Angeles I participated in a live Q&A as part of an ASCAP expo on songwriting. When the topic of Twitter came up, I explained my waning interest in it being part of my daily life. By no means do I think it’s over as a medium altogether, but I do think that the days of “Twitter: The…
I think Mayer hits the nail on the head here. Sums up a lot of my feelings towards social media, though I would argue blogs are even more on the downfall.
I have taken no small amount of crap in regards to my unwillingness to hold a baby. I turn 29 on August 24th, five days after the expected arrival of my first child and to this day I still haven’t willingly held a baby (one has been shoved on me in an emergency.) As I get closer and closer to the day when I hold my daughter for the first time, I cant help but get emotional. The amount of anticipation I feel towards seeing and holding my little girl is not quantifiable, it cannot be described. The first baby I hold will be my own. So despite all the nagging and crap that has been spewed my way for my little quirk, I am sure of one thing beyond a shadow of a doubt;